Live Laugh Lungs

It's been 4 nights since I've moved to Toronto. Already. 4 night.


A lot has happened and I've been documenting everything...unfortunately I'm not going to update this journal as often as I've started a blog for my hometown, family and friends to read. I encourage all to share. I'm trying to educate and raise awareness of CF and organ donation. And, if I'm being honest, it's also something for me to focus on and be excited about.

I am officially listed for transplant! It's a weird feeling. Kind of surreal.

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I will come back here from time to time as there are always things I don't want everyone to see. That's what I have this community for.


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3 more nights in NS! Crazy, just crazy.

I had a hard time sleeping last night. Everything I have left to do is running around my head. I've always been an anxious packer.So this is code red anxious. I don't want to forget anything important; I know the rest can be mailed.

Brad and I going to my parents place for the night to drop off my car and grab the rest of anything I need. Dad started packing last night. He's like "I got socks, underwear, a sweatsuit and my tools". So, he's good.

However, it seems like there may be a last minute change. There may be someone else coming with me for a few months. I don't want to say anything at this point until I know for sure, but it would make me very happy to know my parents don't have to be apart. My parents are glued to each other. Mom misses dad if she's away for a weekend. How sad would that be if they were apart for 3 months?? Yuck.

Getting my final haircut today. Haircuts in Toronto will probably cost me a fortune. Maybe I'll take up putting a bowl on my head and cutting away...that or pull a Britney.

Turkey dinner with the family tonight. Hopefully I won't cry. I hate saying goodbye. Swinging by to see the beautiful twins and Seja today. Another goodbye.

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Great Strides

Mom called me today (which is not abnormal) and told me that a woman from our community came to the house this morning. Her grandson has CF. His name is Jack. Every year they do the Great Strides and they call their group "Jacks's Pack". Cool hey?
She explained that she cut out my newspaper article (oh right - I was in the local newspaper re: transplant) to the walk to let everyone know. Plus she made me a card and had people sign it. Plus a guy was there opening up the walk with some entertainment and the first song he sang - he dedicated to me. Like holy shit guys. That's so sweet.
I wasn't there :(
Back in December is when transplant came up again and I knew I was going to be assessed and didn't even know If I'd be in Halifax. Also, there's no way in hell I'd be able to walk 5 km.
Last year my friend Lindsay and I volunteered at the walk, but it just didn't happen this year.
I'm sad. Sad I didn't get to go. Sad I didn't get to be there with all of these wonderful people. And sad that I wasn't able to raise $$ for CF.
But so damn overwhelmed by all the beautiful people who remind me of the amazing support I have.
I have such a great life.


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1 week!

One week from today I leave for Toronto! In one week I will embark on an amazing adventure to save my life. It's so surreal.

People ask me if I'm nervous. I'm not. Not yet. The only thing I'm sad about is leaving everyone. But the surgery - not at all. That could change when I meet with the surgeon. We'll see.

I think I have everything done. The only thing I can think of is calling my O2 people to have that switched. My feeds will be switched to TO and I'm getting 3 months supply of Meds before I go. That will be one freaking suitcase by itself.

Dad's only taking one suitcase (how the hell does someone move with only one damn suitcase?) so he can check a second bag for meeeeee! Westjet has pretty decent prices for extra bags and this chick will have tons of shit. Plus a little furry boy. G-man got a haircut Friday for the big trip. He's ready to start chasing the ladies around the T dot.

I had a really cool experience Thursday. My dietitian asked me to come in and speak to a group of 11 dietary (?) students about life with CF. It was so fun and so rewarding. I was worried that I talked too much; but the next day I had clinic and Janey (dietitian) told me that the students loved it and learned so much from me. One even took the time to send Janey an email to pass along to me; totally want to do that again. Janey told me she needs me for another one in the Fall so I need to hurry up and get the transplant and get back.

How the hell do I say goodbye to everyone in one week? It'll be one of the hardest days of my life. I wish I could take them all with me.

I'll leave you with a picture of the twins:

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Pillow Anxiety

I'm having a freak attack about packing and moving so I need to get my thoughts out.
I'm trying to concentrate on tv, but my thoughts keep reverting to moving. First of all - my pillow. I have a really perfect hugging pillow that I sleep with every night. How will I get that to Toronto?
I think as it is I'll have 3 suitcases plus carry on's.
Ugh! Freaking out.
I know I'll figure stuff out and this shit is minor, but I've always had anxiety when it comes to packing. I feel like I don't know what to take and what to leave and how will I get it all there?
But I have to remember, I can send things up via Canada post. People can bring things up when they come visit.
Not the end of the world.

I just love my pillow so much....and I won't have Brad to cuddle. Sucks.

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The plan was - surprise party for my sister. Her 25th birthday. I was the decoy. Mission - keep her away from her house until 4.
I felt like a genius. So sneaky and shit. I had so much fun lying. I had the perfect excuse. I'm moving to Toronto Jamie and I want some girl time before I go.
My soon to be sister-in-law Emilee came with to make it even more perfect.
When we arrived at her place I was so stoked to see her face.

Jokes on ME!!!

It was a "go get your new lungs" party!! Fun!!! I absolutely love surprises. I have the best family and friends. The day was so great that it felt like 1 hour but in reality was 5.
My friend Laura, who's also a cystic, was there too. That made my day. I feel such a connection to her, as I'm sure you can all understand.

Other good news...I move June 3rd and get listed June 5th! Perfect. I guess normally they give you a week to settle in to the city, but thankfully I don't have to wait. I would feel like it was a complete waste of time to wait around. I'm not exactly excited about leaving everyone, so the sooner I get listed and waste no time, the better.
Well America's Got Talent is on and there's a bird lady??? on the screen...seriously....yup.
Also, does anyone else have the guilty pleasure of watching The Bachelorette?

Yes, I'm a reality tv whore.

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My strange obsession

Brad says I am obsessed with apartment hunting. And I would say he's right. It's all I think about. I am constantly checking my email to see if I've had responses and I'm always surfing online for spots. and I are pretty tight these days.
But I did find a place on Craigslist! To be honest I've been tainted on that site since the Craigslist killer, but I think I've found the perfect spot!
Lindsay's friend Kasia is going to check it out tomorrow morning for me and we're going to FaceTime the whole thing so it'll be as close as me being there as you can get without actually being there. Excited!!!!

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Nothing like a piggy back on a Saturday night

Just saw The Cabin In The Woods. Interesting. That's all. Not sure what else to say plus I don't wan to ruin it for anyone else.

Shannon and I went to the bathroom during the movie (which was fucking horrible; probably cleaned last in 1997) and she had to almost carry me back to the theatre.

Scary how downhill I have gone. Sometimes you don't realize it because you live it every day and just adapt. But when other people see it and you think about what you could do a year ago compared to right now - holy sheeeeet.

Brad had to piggy back me from the theatre straight through to the car. It definitely was embarrassing, but I guess who cares?? It would have taken me 2 years to walk out of that place.

Griff sure missed us. He did his little tap dance and made his little sounds when we got home. I love that little shit. He's the absolute best thing to come home to.

Worst part of the day was finding out Miami beat NY today. I'm a Lakers girl, but at this point I almost don't care who wins the playoffs as long as it's not the Heat.

Damn Heat.

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